Diet?

This has been sitting on my desktop, gathering spring pollen dust for weeks now. A little dated, but still something that needs to be shared.

I went on a crazy diet that left me with such low blood sugar, that I fainted in the elevator. (at the doctors office, no less) Ugh.

As promised, I continued with Twenty-Ten resolutions…

But first, this is Clues. The song is “Cave Mouth” I thought the mouth part was appropriate, and I just generally LOVE this tune. (cheers Ky!)

Resolution #2 PLEASE RID ME OF MY CANDIDA

In early January I was fortunate enough to be able to travel to THE city, that little one in New York. This trip reconfirmed my ever lasting, undying love for the Big Apple and all that it carries.  Unfortunately, the little sniffley sort throat I had acquired upon flying out from San Francisco, morphed itself into a lovely little sinus infection.  But did I let that get me down? Not one bit. I was in muthafriggin New York City, and sharing it with my favorite person, reconnecting with some of my favorite people. Did my body appreciate being ignored? Not one bit. I caved and finally listened to my angry sinuses and acquired antibiotics upon returning to my grocery store reality. Although it was not a damp and frigid 20 degrees in lovely East Bay, as it was in NYC,  I was not going to get better by sunshine and rainbows at this point.

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A Historical Interjection:

Once upon a time, when the author of this blog was an adolescent, she had some major dermatological struggles. She had acne. Not just the typical facial hormone screams, but the kind that was even inside her ears.

Gross.

Instead of turning to Naturopathic practices, or holistic remedial diet tactics, she went to the “skin doctor”. He was a good guy, listened to her low self-esteem filled cries for help and aided her with every pseudo- magical topical agent, and zit-be-gone pill that was available. Much to her dismay, nothing worked.  The Derm MD then resorted to the heroine of acne drugs (insert Jaws theme here) Accutane.  A serious drug that necessitated a monthly blood test to see if her liver had or had not exploded.

Neat.

Did these extreme measures work? Yes! Yes it bloody well did the trick. Not only did it rid of her of her skin problems, but it also killed much of the good bacteria in her body, the good guys. The guys who eat the mass amounts of sugar, like those in carbohydrates, chocolate, cheese, and all the other lovely foods she had (has) a tendency to consume. And when those good guys are gone, the bad guy, by the name of Candida, began to show his nasty face.  He’s the type that loves to have a gang of yeast around him. The Yeast Gang have guns that shoot bullets of aches, tiredness, bloating and general depressive lethargy (not to forget that it can also lead to that common women problem we all adore, ugh.)  The Yeast Gang LOVE sugar.  And guess what is in wine, vino, the drink of the gods… Yeast and Sugar.

Great Great Great.

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Back to the post NY head congestion… As you have probably guessed, I now try very hard to avoid any kind of antibiotic.  But in this instance I had no choice and did not want to end up with Pneumonia, or H1N1 something or other. You can also guess which gang came back in full force shortly there after.

Now, since I was now back to reality, and leading a pretty mellow lifestyle, I figured… Hey Mak, why not try to get rid of the Candida, once and for all, eh?  And that’s what I had been trying to do in February.

Let me try to explain the diet that lasted three weeks. One could label it as a Vegan-Diabetic-Celiac-Alcohol-free.

Quinoa, mmmmmmmm.

And from that, you can probably figure out the limited menu I had to work around.  My usual consuming habits are chocked full of bread and cheese and wine and chocolate.  Oh, and caffeine. I had to kick my coffee. Which all in all, may have been the worst to overcome…the headaches, oh the headaches.  So, as you can also imagine, that first week was the worst, as my body was ridding itself of all the toxicities that I usually carry around with me. After that was over, it became a course in resisting temptation.  A few things happened to my body.  Listen up ladies, because this is the diet to end all diets. I lost weight, of course. I also ceased to have any cellulite or puffiness. You know, the spare tire/muffin top that we all adore? Yup, gone. My eyes also became much brighter- the lethargic gray was gone.

I had created a regular eating and sleeping schedule, and omitted all sugar (not just refined sugars, but high sugar fruit as well), caffeine and alcohol. I was doing regular exercise, namely Yoga and drinking plenty of water.  I was feeling pretty fantastic, although I definitely felt like I was constantly hungry. It is also very difficult to make time and be creative with what to eat.  But years of practice by being a vegetarian helped, and so did willpower.  I now have a greater respect for those with serious food allergies. What a pain in the ass it is to worry about the content of everything that you put in your face. My hat’s off to you, sirs.

In case you were wondering, I also used a homeopathic supplement called Candi-gone, to aid in the resistance. If you would like more details on this crazy diet, let me know. I would be more then happy to help.

All in all, I think it worked, for the most part. If anything, I proved to myself that I had that kind of discipline. After about 20 days I did, however, discover that my blood sugar started to become dangerously low, and the sugar abstinence had to stop. Hence the fainting episode that occurred at the doctors office. The funny part is was at the doctors not for the candida thing, but for nothing other then an overdue physical. The pass out gave me a literal whack to head and made me realize that I needed to eat some sugar, and fast.  I have now returned to the comfortable bread-cheese-wine-chocolate-coffee existence. But I am much more conscientious of what I consume. What did I learn from this experience?  Sometimes it is good to restrict yourself to a strict regime, but mostly, I think it is more important to be happy.  Decadent food and divine wine give me great enjoyment, and it is part of my lifestyle – I shouldn’t fight it.  I just hope that in the end, I have managed feign off the Candida, forever.

Today I ask you to just let it roll…

The Ballad of Sir Frankie Crisp, I love you, George Harrison.

Let it roll across the floor, and out the door.