Why can’t I quit you, iPhone?!
My current musical addiction is Charlotte Gainsbourg. Her new album, IRM with Beck, is AMAZING, and very Mutations-esque. Here is “Trick Pony”, because my phone is one tricky trickster, and I heart ponies.
[All photos in this post were taken with the iPhoney.]
Wallpaper at a sweet breakfast cafe in the Mission, SF.
Monsieur Jobs should have called it the iPal. That is what my iPhone is, my little pocket pal. I mean, it even vibrates…come, on. I cannot even begin to remember what my life was like before I had an iPhone in my possession. How did I manage such a disconnected existence? An existence of where all of my daily questions would go unanswered, instantaneously unanswered anyways. This general addiction to the iPhone has become an epidemic. I am ashamed, yet relieved, to say that I have been a carrier since early 2008. Yes, please award me my gold-star-stamp-of-cool. I am also proud to admit that I still rock the original generation, and have managed to keep it on my person for that entirety. I have not lost it, and have not run it over with my Subaru, yet. Consequently, this relationship with my iPhone is the quintessential love versus hate. One fine day, I received this particular phone from dear Kyle, who had it for almost a year before he gave it to me (he has since realized his mistake). This means that this little gizmo is actually going on three years old. In techno years, that is the age of a decomposing, 85 year old man. I am just now thinking that I should probably be more careful with my wee iPal.
My point is, it blows copious amounts of projectile carrot chunks… as a phone. When it comes to making/receiving/holding a call… the thing is a POS. On the contrary, as a personal assistant I would pay it a six-figure salary for functionality, reliance and aesthetics (not to mention coolness). And as consistent to all Apple products, it’s a sheer beauty. It is easy to navigate; and continues to systematically surprise and amaze me with it’s capabilities. And, let me reiterate that I only have the original model, I can’t even receive media text messages (I know, super lame-sauce). Regardless, my hat’s off to you, Jonathon Ive, you design beautiful pieces of machinery.
Rooftop window lookout room in the De Young Museum
Let us move on to this “App” craze. Man oh man. Until I moved to the west coast, I had been mildly interested in how many applications my iPhone fashioned. People would spy that I owned an iPhone, yoink it out of my hand saying, “You got any sweet apps?!”. They would be quickly disappointed in the practicality of my applications. Honestly, I just avoided them. Just like I avoid everything that overwhelms me. And in the beginning (the beginning of the iPhone epidemic) they weren’t as prevalent, and I just kind of, well…forgot. How much I had been missing out on, all of that time. Like when I discovered that In-N-Out made a grilled cheese sandwich, for vegetarians. How much my life improved! There is probably even an app where you could remotely order from In-N-Out Burger, where you could already get your little number and show up when your food was ready. No more waiting and salivating. I all of a sudden want a chocolate milkshake. Someone come up with that app, and don’t doddle!
Deliciousness at Cafe Gratitude, SF.
Now, this little pal has been exceptionally functional and necessary upon moving to a new place. Namely, freeway riddled, ultra populated, hyper-cool California.
Baker Beach and some fancy bridge
Here is Exuma, I don’t know what’s going on when I don’t have my phone!
I am always lost, and in need of directional assistance. Who do I turn to… my genius, babycakes iPhone riding in my purse, that’s who! The State of California has banned holding your phone to your ear and text messaging while operating a motor vehicle. Those actions are small potatoes when it comes to plugging a destination into the Maps feature. I do it. I do it a lot, while I am driving, oops. As far as I know, it is still a legal action. And what would I do without my push updates from Facebook? I must know about every comment, ever made, ever, ever, ever. I also use the Yelp app like I ingest wine. It tells me everything I need to know. If you don’t have it, stop reading this and get it, right now. Go.
I could go on and on here.
On the contrary, when I say that I want to smash my pal between my Forester’s tire and the pavement, it is for good reason. My patience for these dropped calls is becoming increasingly more slender with every passing day. As for the missed messages, and generally bad/no service, unfortunately, I also happen to live in a black hole for mobile service. Sir iPhone behaves much better when I am everywhere but my house. I have decided to try my patience until the new 4G (that is in the 4th Generation, not 4G network, kids) is released. They talk about June as a date. They also talk about the fact that it will do anything imaginable, like the dishes, make you dinner, and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night for you. Sounds like a dream, eh? Yeah, well, I am stoked on the built-in flash and supposed 5 megapixel camera. With that sort of carrot dangled in front of my European nose, I have decided to wait it out. Yes, I could just get a different phone, like a Crackberry, or a hip new Android. Blasphemy! Once you have gone iPhone, you never go back. And that is a Mac promise.
Too bad the iPad does not fit in my pocket, and it doesn’t vibrate either…
Muir Beach with the sister.
Can you live a day without your iPhone? Or any phone? Yes, yes you can, try to remember what it was like to plan your life. I was originally going to leave my phone locked away somewhere and then write about it…. but I would probably get lost and end up in a ditch in Richmond.
Although that would make for some good story telling…
